Friends

As I checked out of the store with my cart full of groceries, the cashier started a conversation with another customer. At first I was a little annoyed. It was Friday afternoon, the end of a long week, and I just wanted to get what I needed and get out of there. But, I started listening to their conversation. After all, they were in the middle of the store. The conversation made me think about a few things.
First, the customer had made a point of hunting down this particular cashier, as if she was a dear friend. But, the only way she knew to find her was to ask for her every time she was in the store. Their conversation progressed as dear friends, though they only saw each other there at the store. The customer acted as if she had few other friends.
Friends and family are so very important. We all need someone to share our heart. Someone to lean on in tough times, laugh with in fun times, cry with in sad times, someone to listen and understand. How do we find such friends? I have always been able to develop friendships through church. I've moved a few times, each time finding a great church family. Sometimes I drove 30 minutes or more to a place where I was connected, involved, loved. It was worth the drive to spend time each week with friends. Church family is important!
Another thought was what they were talking about. The customer's mother had heart surgery a couple months back, and had something go terribly wrong. Now the mother was on life support, with no hope for recovery. A bypass surgery should not end this way. But, we never know. Cherish the time you have with those you love. Take time to visit, call, chat, be with friends.
Things can always be worse. It seems that whenever I'm focused on my own struggles, wondering how to pay the bills, how to keep my kids on the right track, how to help one with spelling, how to get laundry done, all that kind of stuff, God puts someone in my path. Someone who has real troubles. Someone who's mom won't recover from something that shouldn't have happened in a hospital recovery room. A family who just lost a 32 year old mom, sister, wife, to cancer. A mom struggling with her child's chronic illness. A mom grieving a recent miscarriage. A hungry child who's parents care more about getting their next fix than about feeding their children. A pregnant teen who doesn't understand the seriousness of raising a child. I am so blessed. I need to take the focus on me and put it where it belongs, on the God who created me and blesses me every day.
Another mom in my Small Group Bible Class has started a 1,000 Blessings challenge. There's a book out there about a woman who wrote down 1,000 blessings. The mom in my group has taken on the challenge. Sounds like a good idea. So, here goes.
1. I have a wonderful husband.
2. I have 4 fabulous kids.
3. I have a mom and dad who live nearby.
4. I have a sister who's a long drive away, but great to talk to!
5. I love my job.

Pretty good for a start. How many blessings can you write down in the next 5 minutes? Ready.... Go!

Calm Hope

I went to a conference on Autism this week, and learned some interesting things that apply to parenting "typically developing" kids as well as kids with disabilities. It seems that as my own kids grow, they are as able to throw full-body tantrums as my 4 - 9 year old students with Autism.  Talking with other moms on the way to the conference also assured me that I'm not alone with sassy kids. You're not either. Here are two main points for behavior management from the week:
#1: Stay calm. It does no good to join them in the emotion at the moment. Yep, you get really mad when those sweet kids start spinning their heads, yelling, throwing, kicking... Yep, your adrenaline kicks into high gear, you upset at the words coming out of that sweet little mouth. You want that child to understand that you are in charge and they are not to act this way. I get it. I've been there. But, you and I are the adults. We are the ones with the mostly-developed brains, the ones with the life experience, and the ones with the blessing of being the parent. They are children. Their world revolves around how they feel. They don't control their feelings, they act them out for the world to see. Part of growing up is learning how to control ourselves even when we're really mad. So, get your "Big Girl Panties" on, and stay calm. Breath deeply, count slowly to 10, walk away for a moment if you must. After all, "A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare." (Proverbs 15:1, New Living Translation).
#2: Have Hope. This will get better. I watched an episode of Dr. Quinn today. Horace and Myra were struggling with their new-born baby. She was very fussy, crying all through the night, every night. (episodes 107 and 108).  Remember those days? I sure do. I remember lots of sleepless nights and long days, trying to figure out why that sweet little baby was so unhappy. And yet, that time passed. My kids can now, for the most part, tell me what's on their mind. They don't cry for hours on end. We communicate fairly well. We have fun together. While preadolescence and adolescence can be frustrating times, filled with attitudes, challenges, sassyness,  and defiance, "This too shall pass," as my mom frequently says. "'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'" (Jeremiah 29:11, NLT). These words were written to the Israelites while they were captives in Babylon. Raising a house full of teens can't be as bad as being prisoners of war in a strange country.  Stand firm, stay calm, continue to instill your beliefs in your children, and one day they will be grown. There is hope. 

Messy

Yesterday I helped hubby clean up the garage after he finished a project. There was sawdust everywhere! But it was cleaned up in no time, and the cars moved back in. It got me to thinking, when we're in the middle of a project, working on something, things get messy. Materials spread out everywhere, dust covering the everything, just messy. But, that happens while you're in the middle of making something special. Generally, the mess doesn't get really cleaned up until the project is finished.
My family is just like that. We have 4 kids. They are messy. We are messy. Our house is messy.  But, we're in the middle of making something special. We're right in the middle of raising our kids, focusing on helping them to be the best they can be.
So, when you come for a visit our house will be messy. Our kids will be messy. That's us. We're in the middle of a project. Working hard to make something great. So, excuse the dust, the dishes on the counter, the clothes on the floor. We're busy right now. Besides, I'd rather be busy in the middle of a messy project than to have the project finished and out of my hands. That will come soon enough. 

Spiritual Service

As I look over my lived-in, messy house, dreading getting up to clean up, I came across this in a book, "Service without spirituality is exhausting and hopeless. But in the same respect, spirituality without service is barren and selfish. We need to unite the two and do it all 'as unto the Lord.'"
What a powerful statement. I have just wrapped up a week of work, proceeded by a week of work and VBS, proceeded by ending the school year, proceeded by leading our youth at church thorough a Leadership program, etc, etc, etc.
While it all started out with spirituality leading me to do these things, sometimes that part of it gets lost in the hast to make sure it all gets done well. But, as Brother Lawrence, a seventeenth century monk discovered, even kitchen work can be spiritual. He joined a monastery in hopes of spending his days in prayer and mediation. Instead, he was assigned to the kitchen, cooking and cleaning. But, he eventually discovered that when he focused on the love of God, and used His grace to do his work, he grew closer to God even while mopping the floors and peeling potatoes. *
So, my challenge for you and me today is this: instead of looking at household chores and daily work as undesirable tasks, look at them as opportunities to grow closer to God, and to help those around you feel God's love through your positive attitude. We're not perfect, we won't do it perfectly, but a little better today than yesterday is a step in the right direction!

*Quote and story borrowed from Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, by Weaver, Joanna, Waterbrook Press, 2000.
I highly recommend this book, keep reading through it, the beginning is hard to hear, but the message unfolds beautifully!

Another Job Chart

My kids are getting old enough that they want to earn money, but not old enough to have "real" jobs. We don't give them an allowance, just never got around to making it a regular part of our routine. Besides, we never have cash on hand. We use our Debit card most of the time. So, I did some thinking. Right now, as kids 12 and under, their job is learning how to live. How to be responsible, preparing for adulthood. I get paid to do my job, so why shouldn't they?  So, while I've gone back and forth about household jobs, I've now decided that I'm okay with paying them for doing jobs around the house. So, being the visual person that I am, I made a chart:

When they have completed a job, I go back and check it, then give them credit for it. In the beginning it requires some teaching. My 8 year old wanted some money, so he chose cleaning the bathroom, a higher value chore. I have a list of how to clean it, but had to go back and show him what I meant for each area. I still gave him full credit since he was learning, but next time hope he'll be able to do more without me pointing out the dirty floor. Incidentally, he was grossed out by the pee that he had never before noticed on the floor. Perhaps he'll be more careful! 

The other piece of this is that I still don't have cash. So, I have a notebook that I use to record their jobs and income/expenses. If they need cash I'll come up with it, but for the most part, they still shop with me, so I can just debit their account as needed. I'm sure the chart will be adjusted as the summer goes, but so far, it's working!

Pet Peeve - Check Mate!

You know the scenario. It's summer, the kids are playing around, inside, outside, all over the house. They run to the kitchen, grab a cup, fill it with icy cold water, take one little sip, set the cup down, and run off. The process is repeated all day long, each time a new cup. You're left with a dishwasher, counter, or sink full of "dirty" cups. And, your cups all look the same, so no one will claim any cup, or reuse it. One of my big pet peeves of summer time.
One year I bought cheap cups and wrote the kids names on them with a paint pen. Sounded good, but if their cup wasn't clean, they would still grab another one, and I'd end up frustrated.
This year, I have a new plan. My kids have those stretchy bracelets all over the house. Those thick ones with logos engraved in them. So... I collected one for each kid, flipped it inside out, and wrote their name on it. The band is small enough to fit on our small cups, but stretchy enough to fit on larger cups as well. So, now, before they fill a cup, they grab their band, slip it on, and the cup is theirs for the day. Problem solved!

Now each kid can claim their own cup for the day, even mom. And, if the band is left on the cup and it goes through the dishwasher, no biggie. It's washable!

Hello Again!

It has, as always, been a busy couple of weeks. I have a new student in my class, we're in the last weeks of school, the weather is up and down, making my students a bit crazy, etc, etc, etc.
What I'm learning is that life rarely slows down. It's an interesting balance. Spending time with the family, focusing on work, taking care of the house, having time for me, time with God. It is up to me to find the balance, no one else will do it for me. After all, I am the grown-up here.
Lots of my earlier posts come together to find this balance. #1, give myself a break. I can't do it all, I am not perfect. I can do my best, and hopefully today's best is better than yesterday's, but sometimes it won't be. Sometimes I just have to let things go. Are the kids fed? Do they have clean clothes? Sometimes, that's good enough. Sometimes I have much more that I am able to do. Can I pick up some clutter? Can I throw a load of laundry in? Can I take out the trash? Sometimes, I even have energy to get the kids involved. Can I teach my daughter how to wash the pans? Can I teach my son how to vacuum? Can I teach one how to take out the trash? While each of those takes time right now, in the long run it not only makes my load a little easier, but it teaches them life-long skills.
So, get the kids involved around the house. Do one thing every day that makes a difference. Tonight I got the hand broom and swept off the stairs. Messy job, takes a few minutes of energy, but, boy, when I walk up and down the stairs it looks good! And, I can say to myself, "I did that!" Gives me strength to do a little more next time.
So, when life seems to be rolling out of control, remember that you have control of the brakes. Learn to know when to say "no", take a moment at a time. Give yourself permission to let things go a little bit, get the family involved, do one thing to make a difference every day, and take time, every day, with God. 

Cake Overload!

This is NOT my picture, it is on Pinterest. I did, however, make this cake for Little Guy's 7th birthday this weekend. It is one of the easiest cakes I've made! He wanted chocolate and white cake, so I made one round cake of each (I recommend 8 inch pan if you have it), and used the extra batter in a 9X13 for another day. Frost and stack the two cake rounds, break Kit Kat bars into groups of two (I used 5 King Sized Kit Kat bars, and still needed one more bar), stick the bars to the cake while the icing is still fresh, pour a medium bag of M & M's on the top, and there you have it! I didn't even add the bow, it held together just fine for me. Sugar overload, for sure! But super easy, and made the boy happy. Yes, with the candy and cake, it cost me $8 - 10 for the cake, which, at first, I thought was a bit much, but when you pay at least $15 for a small cake at the store, I figure I still came out ahead! 

Easy brownies

I just made this for my little guy's class for his birthday, and had to share with you. I'm afraid the goodness of these brownies will be lost on the little kindergartners, but I'll cut the pieces small in hopes of left-overs! I got the recipe from Pinterest, which linked it to this blog: http://www.recipegirl.com/2011/06/02/chocolate-chip-cookie-dough-brownies/ I tweaked it to my taste, and will include it here: Cookie Dough Brownies 1 box family sized brownies (9x13) prepared as directed, then cooled completely Topping: (Pretty much the Toll-house recipe, with a couple changes - NO EGGS!) 1 c. butter (2 sticks) softened 3/4 c. brown sugar 3/4 c. granulated sugar (the regular white stuff) 1 tsp. vanilla 3 Tbs. milk 2 1/3 c. flour 1 tsp. salt 1 tsp. baking soda 12 oz package chocolate chips Make the cookie dough as you normally might: beat the butter until smooth, add brown sugar, white sugar, vanilla & milk. Beat well. Next add soda & salt. Gradually add flour & stir. Mix in chocolate chips. Spread cookie dough over cooled brownies. Refridgerate until firm for easier slicing. Drizzle with melted chocolate if desired. Enjoy! I suppose you could use refridgerated, store -bought cookie dough, let it sit out to soften a bit before spreading over brownies. But, you might be taking a chance with raw eggs, so I prefer this recipe with no raw eggs.

Update: The kids in his class LOVED the brownies! They weren't as messy as I thought they might be. A super big hit, one I'll do again!

Pot Luck

Drat! I had just gotten home from my weekly shopping trip when I was reminded that our "Small" Bible Study Group has pot luck tomorrow after worship. Drat. I didn't get anything to make while I was shopping.
Well... I scoured the pantry.
I found:
1/2 box elbow macaroni,
spaghetti sauce,
 a pound of beef,
tomato sauce, and
 Italian seasoning. (If you're in my Life Group, shhhh...).
 So, Out of my pantry comes what has become "Family Goolash". Brown the beef, add spaghetti sauce, and since it's for more than just our family, stretch it a bit with the tomato sauce and seasoning. Add to it the macaroni. (I've been known to use the noodles out of the mac & cheese boxes too. Save the cheese sauce, buy just plain noodles at the next trip to the store, and, wahlah!) Perhaps some chopped up pepperoni. Throw it all in a slow-cooker, top with mozzarella cheese, and, there you have it, quick, out-of-the-pantry-not-the-budget potluck dish. Everything I usually have on hand. Day saved! I may have one of the kids make a pan of brownies, if we have time in the morning. If not, oh well. I'm sure someone else will bring plenty of desserts.
So, what do you have in your pantry that you can whip up into a quick dish to share? I'll bet, with a little bit of creativity, you could come up with something in a pinch. And, best of all, stay within the budget. Bonus!!